Holidays. They can be tricky for a lot of people. Most people love the holidays to some extent. Other people can’t stand them. However, the majority of people can agree that this period of time is one of the most stressful parts of the year, regardless of what or how you celebrate. Mental health can be affected in so many ways by this season, some of those ways are good and others are bad.
Holidays: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly
There’s lots to love about the holidays. Getting extra time to spend with people you care about, seeing how the neighborhoods get transformed by decorations, and many people look forward to special meals or foods that are only made at this time. Sometimes we get breaks from responsibilities, like from school or work.
But it can be difficult, too. For some people, the holidays mean having to spend time with people they’re uncomfortable around. Or maybe they have no one to spend the holidays with. It can be a reminder of what people no longer have or what they fear they may never have. The extra demands on peoples’ time can also be stressful and difficult to work around. Maybe some family members overstep boundaries, maybe you struggle with substance use disorder or an eating disorder which makes these holidays difficult. Maybe you’re tired of hearing questions about when you’re going to get married, or buy a house, or have a baby.
It can also be difficult financially for people. This is a time of year when we are fed a lot of consumerist advertising, even more so than usual. It pushes the idea that we are not doing enough, showing enough love or care, not living up to expectations, whatever it may be if we don’t spend money. Money on gifts, beautiful decor, lavish meals. Or maybe money on plane tickets to go see distant family, even if we can’t afford it.
All of these things can cause stress! Even the good things can. We may be worried about everyone enjoying what we’ve made. Or maybe we worry about making everyone comfortable. But worry can lead to stress, especially if there is a LOT of worry going on.
You don’t need to have a mental health disorder to feel the extra strain that this time of year can put on people. But it does tend to exacerbate many mental health symptoms. This is a time of year that can increase depression, anxiety, or any other number of conditions.
Taking Care of Yourself
Your mental health should be a priority all year long, but especially right now. This is the time to examine your boundaries and make sure you’re setting healthy ones and enforcing them. Stick to your routines that you already know work. Exercise? Keep it up! Enjoy the delicious foods on offer, but don’t eat more than you’re used to. Not only can it come with feelings of guilt and shame, it can also just physically make you feel unwell. That can make you feel even more mentally unwell.
If you take medication, continue it as prescribed. Discuss with your care team if you feel you need a little extra help in this department at this time of year.
Remember that you don’t have to say yes to anything and everything. You don’t even have to say yes to going somewhere for the holidays. While isolating yourself can contribute to feelings of loneliness and depression, going to a home where you’re uncomfortable, judged, or may not even be safe is also not mentally healthy. Make alternate plans, if possible, to avoid spending the holidays alone, but remember that however you choose to spend them, you don’t have to feel guilty about not going home if it’s not a good place for you.
You also don’t have to answer questions if they make you sad, uncomfortable, or angry. You can insist that it’s not something you want to talk about (“I don’t want to talk about this topic” or “Please respect that this isn’t something I want to discuss”). If someone cannot respect that, you have every right to walk away from the situation.
The holidays can be a great time for many people, but if you just feel like you need to survive it, that’s okay. Care for yourself and give yourself the grace you deserve if this is a hard time of year. If you need to, talk to someone you trust. This can be a family member, a friend, or even a therapist. But remember that you deserve to prioritize your mental health at this time of year.
Resources
https://gwtoday.gwu.edu/protecting-your-mental-health-over-thanksgiving-and-winter-break
Protecting Your Mental Health During Thanksgiving
https://www.nextstep.doctor/5-tips-for-safeguarding-your-mental-health-this-thanksgiving/
https://trustmentalhealth.com/blog/protecting-your-mental-health-on-thanksgiving