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Grounding Techniques For When Things Get Hard

Last week, we discussed how the upcoming holidays can be a source of stress for many people. They can also contribute to anxiety for many people, as well. This time of year also comes with finals (if you’re still in school) or large projects at our jobs. All of these things can contribute to climbing anxiety, which can sometimes be difficult to cope with. We wanted to share some information about grounding techniques this week to help provide a way to stay on top of things before anxiety reaches its peak for many.

What are Grounding Techniques?

Grounding techniques are exercises we perform in order to bring ourselves back to the present when worry or anxiety takes over. They can help center us and relieve some of that anxiety and bring it back down to more manageable levels. Some anxiety can be good for us, as it plays a part in motivation. However, when we’re consumed by anxiety or worry, it becomes detrimental to our ability to function. 

The ability to practice some kind of mindfulness in those moments in order to bring us back to the present and outside of our worries is an important coping technique. We need to be able to recenter and let some of that anxiety pass. There are a variety of grounding techniques we can use to do this, with some being more active than others. 

What are Some Techniques I Can Use?

A very simple grounding technique involves just closing your eyes, putting your hands flat on a surface (like a desk or table) and putting your feet flat on the ground. If you’re sitting in a chair while doing this, press your back into the chair, too. Then just take a few deep, centering breaths. This can be as many as you need in order to feel calm enough again to continue with what you need to be doing. 

Another technique that is common and simple is the 5-4-3-2-1 method. This is where you center yourself in this anxious moment by counting five things you’re able to see, four things you’re able to feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This technique can take mere seconds to perform and can help really bring you back to the present and lessen intense anxiety. 

You can also hold something and really focus on the feeling of it. Is it cold? Smooth? What is it made of? Is it heavy? By focusing on this one item, it can help calm your system by forcing yourself to slow down and stop thinking about the worrying thoughts. 

In our resources listed below there are also many other examples of effective and easy grounding techniques you can use whenever anxiety creeps up.

What if Grounding Techniques Aren’t Enough?

If you find your anxiety or worry is not responding to grounding techniques or if it’s happening very often, you may need more help. Consider talking to someone you trust about your worries. Some people need to reach out to a counselor for therapy revolving anxiety and some people may need medication to help control their anxiety.

Some anxiety is perfectly normal, but if you’re always feeling on edge and anxious, it may be a sign you need to reach out and get more specialized care than what you can do at home. 

Resources:

https://drsarahallen.com/7-ways-to-calm/

https://www.goodrx.com/health-topic/mental-health/grounding-techniques-anxiety-coping

https://healthline.com/health/grounding-techniques

https://www.innermelbpsychology.com.au/grounding-exercises

https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/techniques/finding-relief-through-grounding-techniques

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The Holidays, Mental Health, and You

Holidays. They can be tricky for a lot of people. Most people love the holidays to some extent. Other people can’t stand them. However, the majority of people can agree that this period of time is one of the most stressful parts of the year, regardless of what or how you celebrate. Mental health can be affected in so many ways by this season, some of those ways are good and others are bad. 

Holidays: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

There’s lots to love about the holidays. Getting extra time to spend with people you care about, seeing how the neighborhoods get transformed by decorations, and many people look forward to special meals or foods that are only made at this time. Sometimes we get breaks from responsibilities, like from school or work. 

But it can be difficult, too. For some people, the holidays mean having to spend time with people they’re uncomfortable around. Or maybe they have no one to spend the holidays with. It can be a reminder of what people no longer have or what they fear they may never have. The extra demands on peoples’ time can also be stressful and difficult to work around. Maybe some family members overstep boundaries, maybe you struggle with substance use disorder or an eating disorder which makes these holidays difficult. Maybe you’re tired of hearing questions about when you’re going to get married, or buy a house, or have a baby. 

It can also be difficult financially for people. This is a time of year when we are fed a lot of consumerist advertising, even more so than usual. It pushes the idea that we are not doing enough, showing enough love or care, not living up to expectations, whatever it may be if we don’t spend money. Money on gifts, beautiful decor, lavish meals. Or maybe money on plane tickets to go see distant family, even if we can’t afford it. 

All of these things can cause stress! Even the good things can. We may be worried about everyone enjoying what we’ve made. Or maybe we worry about making everyone comfortable. But worry can lead to stress, especially if there is a LOT of worry going on. 

You don’t need to have a mental health disorder to feel the extra strain that this time of year can put on people. But it does tend to exacerbate many mental health symptoms. This is a time of year that can increase depression, anxiety, or any other number of conditions. 

Taking Care of Yourself 

Your mental health should be a priority all year long, but especially right now. This is the time to examine your boundaries and make sure you’re setting healthy ones and enforcing them. Stick to your routines that you already know work. Exercise? Keep it up! Enjoy the delicious foods on offer, but don’t eat more than you’re used to. Not only can it come with feelings of guilt and shame, it can also just physically make you feel unwell. That can make you feel even more mentally unwell. 

If you take medication, continue it as prescribed. Discuss with your care team if you feel you need a little extra help in this department at this time of year. 

Remember that you don’t have to say yes to anything and everything. You don’t even have to say yes to going somewhere for the holidays. While isolating yourself can contribute to feelings of loneliness and depression, going to a home where you’re uncomfortable, judged, or may not even be safe is also not mentally healthy. Make alternate plans, if possible, to avoid spending the holidays alone, but remember that however you choose to spend them, you don’t have to feel guilty about not going home if it’s not a good place for you. 

You also don’t have to answer questions if they make you sad, uncomfortable, or angry. You can insist that it’s not something you want to talk about (“I don’t want to talk about this topic” or “Please respect that this isn’t something I want to discuss”). If someone cannot respect that, you have every right to walk away from the situation. 

The holidays can be a great time for many people, but if you just feel like you need to survive it, that’s okay. Care for yourself and give yourself the grace you deserve if this is a hard time of year. If you need to, talk to someone you trust. This can be a family member, a friend, or even a therapist. But remember that you deserve to prioritize your mental health at this time of year.

Resources

https://afsp.org/story/from-thanksgiving-to-new-year-s-protecting-your-mental-health-during-the-holidays

https://gwtoday.gwu.edu/protecting-your-mental-health-over-thanksgiving-and-winter-break

Protecting Your Mental Health During Thanksgiving

https://www.nami.org/complimentary-health-approaches/managing-your-mental-health-during-the-holidays/

https://www.nextstep.doctor/5-tips-for-safeguarding-your-mental-health-this-thanksgiving/

https://trustmentalhealth.com/blog/protecting-your-mental-health-on-thanksgiving

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The Importance of Work-Life Balance

A lot of people struggle with having proper balance between their lives and their work. It can be easy, especially in our always on the go, keep pushing for more, and goals/financially motivated society to feel like work is allowed to take over our lives. But a work-life balance is important. There are a lot of potential negative consequences that can happen when we don’t prioritize our lives outside of work more than or at least as much as our lives at work. 

What IS a Work-Life Balance, Anyways?

Simply put, work-life balance is when you’re able to balance your work priorities and obligations with the things you both need and want to do outside of work. It means meeting your deadlines or work goals while also investing time in yourself, getting things done at home, and spending time with the ones you love. 

This is going to look different for everyone! We all have our own hierarchy for what matters most to us. This can also change over our lives. What we prioritize at 25 is likely going to look different for when we’re 35. So this is definitely something to assess over time to make sure your work-life still aligns with your needs, values, and goals. 

Consequences of Being Out of Balance

Stress, to put it simply, can be one of the most immediate consequences of not having a good work-life balance. Stress can then go on to affect us in other ways. 

Like:

  • Irritability
  • Depression
  • Aches and pains, like headaches
  • Stomach problems
  • Relationship issues
  • Productivity problems
  • More likely to become ill 
  • Blood pressure and other heart problems
  • Exacerbate chronic health conditions
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Problems with eating (too much or too little)
  • Overspending or risky behavior to cope with stress
  • Substance use (like drinking more than usual) to cope with stress
  • Burnout

And that’s not even an exhaustive list! However, it’s clear to see how having a poor work-life balance can affect you not just at home, but at work, too. Looking at the list, it makes it clear how counterproductive it is to focus solely on work at the expense of your mental and physical health. It’ll only affect your work poorly, too!

What Can I Do?

Working on achieving a better work-life balance is going to depend pretty heavily on your specific goals and priorities. However, the first step will be the same for everyone. Step back and really consider how you spend your time every day and every week. Are you happy with it? What areas do you wish you could spend more time in? Is it hobbies, family, or something else? Once you have answers to these questions, it’s easy to see where to tweak things to bring things more in balance with what you personally are looking for in life.

For example, if you feel like you bring work home with you a lot, either literally (finishing paperwork, emailing, etc) or mentally (worrying about projects, thinking about responsibilities, etc) then it may be time to consider setting some boundaries around work when you’re at home. If it’s simply not possible to not bring physical work home with you, set yourself a time limit for how much you’ll spend on it each day. This can help you balance out how you spend the rest of your day.

Do you feel overwhelmed with what you have to do at home? Enlist help from those who live with you, if possible. Splitting up chores so it doesn’t all fall on one or two people who also have busy work lives can really help with alleviating the feelings of “work never ends”, even if it isn’t your job that seems to be following you around. 

If you feel comfortable and safe to, talk to your boss or co-workers. You may be surprised to know that others at work also feel the same way you do. Working together to come up with a better workplace culture that can support a healthier work-life balance for everyone can be more effective than trying to tackle it alone. 

If even after working on getting your life more balanced you still feel like you’re struggling with stress, overwhelm, depression, or other negative feelings then consider reaching out to a therapist. 

Resources:

https://www.camh.ca/en/camh-news-and-stories/achieving-work-life-balance

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/burnout/art-20046642

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/a-z-topics/work-life-balance

https://mhanational.org/4mind4body-work-life-balance

https://www.mhanational.org/work-life-balance

https://oaksintcare.org/how-work-life-balance-impacts-mental-health/

https://www.webmd.com/balance/balancing-work-and-family

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Daylight Savings Time and Why We Hate It

That time is looming around the corner yet again. No, we don’t mean the holidays (though that will come in a later blog!). We mean Daylight Savings Time. While some people love getting the extra hour during “fall back”, others don’t find it so great. And almost everyone can agree that “spring forward” is the worst. But why is it that we have such a difficult time with DST?

Daylight Savings Time, the Circadian Rhythm, and You

Why do we even do DST in the first place? Honestly, it’s from a time when energy consumption from lights was a larger drain on the economy than it is today. It was first implemented during the end of WWI, came back during WWII, and then was brought back in the 60’s and never went away. These were originally all conservation efforts due to war time rationing. Currently, we do it mostly out of habit.

The circadian rhythm is an innate clock within every animal. We all have sleep and wake cycles that are controlled by this little part of our brain. Not only does it control that, but we even have cycles for hunger, pain tolerance, strength, and blood sugar. Among many others! 

The circadian rhythm controls an awful lot in our bodies and is often triggered by light. Light in the morning triggers most people to be awake and get going while fading light and darkness at night trigger our brains to start slowing down and get ready for bed. 

The problem with DST is that it interferes with our natural circadian rhythms. This is why we often have such a difficult time adjusting to these changes.  Our bodies have a natural cycle they want to follow and a biological clock that determines these. But then we have a social clock that is inconsistent with these messages and also changes twice a year. 

Why DST Feels Bad

The argument for keeping DST in the fall is that it gives us more evening light to enjoy things. The problem with this is that is fundamentally messes with our circadian rhythm! We need the light in the morning to let us know that it’s time to be awake and get things done. By making it so that we start our days in the dark, it can be hard to really get going in the morning for most people.

To make it worse, by having it stay light out later in the day, we don’t get the normal signals we need to go to bed. It tricks us into wanting to stay up later. This makes it hard to get into that new routine. 

It’s not surprising that we see an uptick in traffic accidents at night during the beginning of DST in the fall! And in the morning for the spring, we also see an uptick in traffic accidents. Not only this, but doctors have even found that the incidence of heart attacks and strokes go up in the days following the DST switch.

All of this can be attributed to the stress that these changes put on our biological clocks and, subsequently, our bodies. The way it impacts our sleep isn’t healthy. But unfortunately, there isn’t much we can do while it’s still law. 

What Can We Do About It?

Keeping to your routine as much as possible is important. Stick with your regular sleeping schedule, even though it may be tempting to stay up later or sleep in later. Buying a lightbox can also help if you’re really feeling the lack of vitamin D and light that we would normally be getting from outside.

Self-care can be really important, especially self-care around sleep. Make sure you’re getting the rest you need, especially in the first week or two of the time change. This can make all the difference in the transition!

If you find you’re prone to winter blues or depression with a seasonal pattern, now is the time to be proactive about it. For those with depression, reach out to your care team about considering medication changes or additions to stay ahead. If it’s winter blue, check out our blog post that discusses both of these!

And of course, if you find yourself struggling, reaching out to a therapist can always be helpful. 

Resources:

https://www.health.com/mind-body/dst-mental-health

https://www.healthline.com/health-news/daylight-saving-time-and-seasonal-depression#What-causes-seasonal-depression

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/its-not-just-in-your-head/202403/the-effect-of-daylight-saving-time-on-your-health

https://publichealth.jhu.edu/2023/7-things-to-know-about-daylight-saving-time

https://utswmed.org/medblog/daylight-saving-time-sleep-health

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The Mental Health Benefits of Friends

Friendship. It’s a common thing people have, want, and work to maintain. However, we don’t often talk about the ways friendship can benefit us. And we don’t mean in an exploitative sense! We mean the mental health benefits. There are many ways friends can benefit our mental health and this post is meant to help pin down some of the mental health benefits of friends. 

Why do Friendships Matter?

Maybe this is an obvious one and maybe it isn’t. But it’s difficult to really pinpoint why people want friends. According to the science, though, friendships benefit us in a lot of different ways. Not only are there physical benefits to having friends, there are also the mental health benefits of friends that we have to think about, too. 

Friends provide us an outlet for the things we need to talk about. This can help us with processing and coping with stress, grief, anger, and any other negative emotion. They give us that support and the lack of judgement we need in order to be open with our own feelings. This helps in so many ways because we know that bottling up feelings can have many negative consequences, including health ones!

Friends also give us a way of not feeling isolated or lonely. Isolation is a big factor in a lot of mental health conditions and one of the best ways to help alleviate some of the symptoms of these is to reduce feelings of isolation. Good friends will want to spend time with you regardless of how you’re feeling. This can help foster feelings of belonging and give us meaning, another great mental health benefit of friends. 

Not only all this, but friends can just help make us happier. When we’re happier, we also tend to be more self-confident and are more likely to take care of ourselves. Often, they can be good role models for us, encouraging us to try new and better things. 

Are all Friendships Good Friendships?

Unfortunately, no. Sometimes our friends can be harmful. They may have destructive habits that encourage our own (like heavy drinking, for example). Or maybe they make you feel small, unappreciated, or just bad. Some friends take advantage of us, talk down to us, or just overall are not good friends. They may not be willing to support you when you need them. They may only want to be around when you’re feeling your best. 

In these cases, it’s best to sit back and consider if the friendship is worth continuing. Maybe if they’re just a good time friend, you can keep them as an acquaintance you see sometimes to go to the movies with or some other fun activity. But if they’re the kind of friend that leaves you not feeling good about yourself, it may be best to cut ties. There are so many mental health benefits of friends but those are for GOOD friends (and by good, we mean good for you!) not all friends in general. 

But How do I Make Friends?

This definitely gets harder as we get older and are no longer in school. It’s easier to make friends when you’re around people all the time who are likely to have some of the same interests. This is especially true in college when it comes to career goals or intellectual interests. However, as we enter the workforce and become exposed to many more kinds of people, it’s harder and harder to make friends.

If your work isn’t remote, think about your co-workers. If there’s anyone you’ve noticed you get along with more than others, it may be worthwhile to try and get to know them better and maybe even spend some time together outside of work. If your work is remote, this may be a little harder. 

For those who work remotely or who don’t really click with any of their co-workers, it’s a good idea to look into local classes at the library or similar learning events. Always wanted to learn how to bake? Take a class! You may be able to make a friend there. You can also make friends at other places you enjoy, like the gym, yoga, or anywhere you spend a lot of recreational time. 

How do I Maintain Friendships?

Reach out! Don’t always be the one that they have to contact. You don’t have to talk to someone everyday in order to maintain closeness, but it’s important to show that you’re making an effort to stay in their circle. That they mean something to you. Even if all you do is send them a message with something that reminded you of them, it could be the beginning of a new conversation and more closeness.

Try to do things face-to-face if possible. This may be hard if your friends have scattered all around following careers. Thanks to technology, we have video chats, lots of ways to send messages, and other ways of keeping in touch. But this may not always help to keep the closeness of friendship maintained. If you’re able to see someone in person, try to! It’s a great way to keep close friends close. 

Limitations

Friendship has a lot of benefits and friends can do a lot of good. While there are certainly many mental health benefits of friends, they can’t solve everything for us. And they shouldn’t. It’s important to understand that we can’t solely rely on our friends for everything, especially putting everything all on one or two specific friends. Sometimes, our problems may be too big for our friends. 

That’s when therapy can be helpful! If you find that you’re still struggling, even with having a great supportive social network, then consider reaching out for some counseling. 

Resources:

https://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/social-support.aspx

https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-friendship#making-friends

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-importance-of-friendship-3024371

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/psychological-benefits-of-friendship

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Cancer and Mental Health

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, which is arguably one of the most discussed cancers in the media. There is a large push to get those assigned female at birth to check themselves regularly for lumps or anything that may feel out of the ordinary. Regular breast screenings are incredibly important to your overall health as early detection of cancer is critical for the best outcomes with treatment. However, one thing that is often not discussed is how cancer and mental health can intersect. 

Cancer and Mental Health

Receiving a cancer diagnosis of any kind can be absolutely life changing and devastating. This is not only true for the patient themselves but also for their loved ones. Many of the treatments can be difficult on the body and certain cancers carry with them lower chances of survival, especially if caught late. 

Some of the most common concerns with cancer and mental health are anxiety and depression, with social isolation as a result of cancer being a risk factor for worsening mental health. 

Many cancer patients experience fear, uncertainty, anger, and disbelief after a cancer diagnosis. There can be a sense of “why me” or “did I do something to deserve this?” This can be especially true for cancers such as lung cancer, which are often related to smoking. However, it is important to understand that no one deserves to get cancer and that doctors are still unsure as to why some people develop it while others don’t. 

Because of the serious nature of a cancer diagnosis, it can be difficult to talk to others about it. This can help contribute to isolation and loneliness. Sometimes cancer patients avoid talking about it out of fear of making others uncomfortable and sometimes it’s because they themselves don’t want to talk about it. It can be helpful to broach the topic with those closest to you just to get their support, if you’re comfortable with it. 

All the feelings someone could have around a cancer diagnosis are perfectly normal. There is nothing inherently wrong with feeling anxious, sad, angry, or any other negative emotion as a result of a diagnosis of this kind. However, when those feelings start to make life more difficult or are getting in the way of quality of life, it’s time to reach out for more support. 

When to Reach Out

Some mental health disorders can be difficult to distinguish from symptoms of cancer or side effects from treatment. For example, depression. Sadness from a cancer diagnosis is perfectly normal and those feelings will wax and wane over time. Depression, however, is much more serious and could require treatment for the best outcomes. 

  • Signs to look out for:
    • Fatigue
    • Changes in appetite
    • Weight loss or gain
    • Changes in sleep patterns
    • Irritability
    • Feeling hopeless
    • Feeling worthless
    • Extreme levels of guilt (out of proportion)

If you feel you may want to harm yourself or are thinking of killing yourself, reach out to your care team ASAP to get help with these feelings. There are many options available for help. 

The standard treatments for depression are something we’ve covered in our blog post about major depressive disorder. However, it is important to know that when it comes to cancer and mental health, one needs to consider the specific ways in which depression can impact treatment and quality of life and how cancer can contribute to MDD. 

Taking care of mental health is associated with better mental health outcomes, possibly because of the likelihood of adhering to treatment and being open to learning more about the diagnosis and what can be done. Being more proactively involved in your treatment plan can make a difference for long-term outcomes. 

How Does Cancer Contribute to Depression?

There are many things about a cancer diagnosis that can impact the likelihood of developing depression. One of the major things is the sense of loneliness and feeling like there’s no one you can open to. It’s incredibly isolating to feel as if you have to hide large parts of yourself from loved ones. 

Other factors include:

  • Body image (self conscious because of bodily changes)
  • Guilt (“Did I do something for this to happen?”)
  • Change in daily activities and plans
  • Change in energy levels
  • Pain
  • The fear of dying
  • Anxiety and panic due to uncertainty and fear
  • Fear of cancer coming back after treatment
  • Fear of what will happen to family
  • Anxiety over medical costs
  • Not being able to work
  • The need for others to help care for them (loss of independence)
  • Long hospital stays

It is worth mentioning that these things can also contribute to worsening mental health of the loved ones of a cancer patient. If someone in your life has been diagnosed with cancer and you feel as if you may be becoming depressed, reach out to someone for more support. 

What Can Help Support Mental Health?

There are many different things someone can do to help support or improve their mental health after a cancer diagnosis. With cancer and mental health support, it’s important that your cancer care team is part of some of these choices. Depending on your health and needs, some options may not be suitable, so get guidance from your care team before making any major changes. 

Somethings you can do:

  • Support groups
  • Therapy
  • Medication
  • Mindfulness practices like
    • Meditation
    • Journaling
    • Yoga
    • Breathing exercises
  • Eating balanced, nutritious meals
  • Light exercise, if possible (check with your care team)
  • Seeking out social support from loved ones
  • Pastoral counseling, for those who are spiritual, can be very helpful
  • Spending time with pets/animals
  • Keeping to your normal routine within reasonable limitations

It can also be helpful to ask the care team where you go for appointments or treatment about what options they have at the facility to help support cancer and mental health together. It could be that there are options you’re not even aware of that are there!

Things to ask about:

  • Therapy dogs at the facility you attend for treatment
  • Counselors at the facility you attend
  • Social workers who can connect you to counselors, especially those who specialize in the mental health needs of cancer patients

Cancer can be a life changing diagnosis, especially if caught in the later stages. However, people are living longer and with higher quality of life even with advanced cancer than they ever have before. While all feelings around cancer are valid, you don’t have to suffer with poor mental health, too. Make sure to seek out help, whether you’re the patient or a loved one. When it comes to cancer and mental health, you have options to take care of yourself and support the best quality of life for yourself. 

Resources:

https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/feelings

https://www.cancer.org/cancer/survivorship/coping/support-service-animals.html

https://www.cancer.org/cancer/managing-cancer/side-effects/emotional-mood-changes.html

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/treatment/coping-with-treatment/cancer-and-your-emotions

https://www.mhanational.org/cancer-and-mental-health

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LGBTQIA+ History Month

October is LGBTQIA+ History Month! One of the big questions people have in response to this is how is it different from Pride Month in June? There are some key differences we’ll discuss in this blog post, along with how LGBTQIA+ History Month started and what its purpose is. The hope is that with more understanding of things involving the LGBTQIA+ community, we can foster more understanding for their mental health needs, as well!

So, What IS LGBTQIA+ History Month?

Simply, it’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s a month dedicated to the history of the LGBTQIA+ community, focusing on key figures that have contributed to the forwarding of their civil rights. It also is meant to educate people about the community at large. 

Every October, the GLAAD and LGBTQ History Month websites have a write up on important historical (and current) members of the community. The LGBTQ History Month website dedicates one day of the month to a figure and it’s possible to go back into the archives to see the past years’ icons. 

It was started by a high school teacher, Rodney Wilson, in 1994 in Missouri. He was the first publicly out educator in that state and he felt it was important to have a month that would help educate people more about the gay community and the need right gay rights, in a way that was approachable and focused on the icons and important people that had made strides to make things better. 

He chose October because October 11th (today!) is National Coming Out Day in the USA. October also marks the anniversaries of some of the first marches in LGBTQIA+ history in the 70’s and 80’s. 

Okay, but isn’t that just Pride Month?

Well, no, not exactly. Pride Month is focused heavily on the history of political activism in the community, along with an emphasis on proudly being out and living an authentic life, without hiding. It can seem very similar on the outside, but the key differences are really on the focus of the months. LGBTQIA+ History Month is more aligned with general education about the community, with a focus on key iconic figures throughout time that have contributed to the movement of education and civil rights. 

Pride Month is more well known because of its heavy emphasis on, well, pride and being proud of oneself despite the cisheteronormative expectations of society telling the community that they are too different. It’s a celebration as much as it is a call to action. LGBTQIA+ History Month is educational. 

So, Why Does It Matter?

It matters because history is important. Many of these icons are not well known, especially to the younger generations of LGBTQIA+ individuals. What these figures did in their lives and how they contributed to the community is something that can help continue to foster not only understanding but to empower LGBTQIA+ youth to live their lives in ways that can change the world, as well. 

Representation is important for everyone and in a world where we still see widespread prejudice and misunderstanding about this community, the more education we can have around these topics, the better!

It’s all just an effort to continue to make the world a kinder, more understanding place for people from all kinds of different backgrounds. 

LGBTQIA+ Mental Health

We’ve discussed in a previous post about how being part of this community can contribute to poorer mental health outcomes. This is primarily because of the prejudices that exist and the fears many individuals have around their safety and if people will accept them. These things can take a very real toll on the mental health of anyone, especially someone who will have to encounter these considerations often when having to decide how much of their lives and selves to share with others. 

There is nothing inherently about being LGBTQIA+ that contributes to poorer mental health and it is almost entirely connected to how society responds to individuals who are different from them. The more education we can put out, the more we can hope for a day when those statistics will change. 

Resources:

LGBTQ History Month Spotlights: Celebrating Unsung Icons

https://lgbthistorymonth.com

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_History_Month#United_States

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Staying Ahead of SAD and the Winter Blues

In a previous blog post we’ve talked about major depression with a seasonal pattern, better known as SAD. That post was specifically meant to bring awareness to the summer pattern, as it’s less well known. However, this post is for the more common pattern of SAD, which is typically experienced in the fall and winter. This post will also touch on the winter blues, which while similar, is not the same as seasonal depression!

Depression or the Winter Blues?

A lot of people use these terms interchangeably, but technically there is a difference. For most people, the coming of winter signals the end of a lot of things. We don’t spend as much time out of the house doing things, we find ourselves sleeping more, and often we find ourselves eating more. It doesn’t help that winter is packed with a lot of stressful holidays that can be very difficult for some people. All of this can contribute to just generally feeling a bit more down during the winter than usual. Generally, this doesn’t really get in the way of functioning or enjoyment of life.

Seasonal depression, however, is different. A depression diagnosis implies, to some extent, an impact on functioning and enjoyment of life. It goes beyond just a little extra down to feeling quite sad, maybe hopeless, and having a more difficult time enjoying usual activities. That difficulty finding enjoyment with usual activities can also come across as having difficulty concentrating on things like reading, watching TV, or other activities that were not difficult for the person to do before. 

Often with winter pattern depression, we see people eat much more than usual, especially high carbohydrates foods. They often sleep much more than normal which gets in the way of doing other activities. 

People will also socially isolate. Poor weather and a lack of outdoor activities makes social isolation much easier in the winter than other times of year. It’s not unusual to not want to go out when it’s cold and uncomfortable out. However, for people with SAD, this is often hiding the bigger issue in that the isolation is being fueled by depression. 

What can we do? Winter blues.

The general idea of trying to stay on top of the winter blues is pretty similar to SAD. Self-care is one of the biggest things that can contribute to feeling better during the winter months. Now, depending on if you’re experiencing the winter blues or seasonal depression, some aspects of this self-care could look quite different. But the general idea is very similar. 

For the winter blues, especially, it’s important to keep as normal a routine as possible. A lot of the general down feeling we get from winter comes from the disruption in our routines and activities we love. If you like being active, try finding a way to make outdoor activities more comfortable for you in the winter or find a new indoor activity to try instead. Try continuing with your regular socializing and keep yourself to a consistent sleep schedule. It can be hard to want to stay awake until your normal sleep time of 10pm if it gets dark at 4pm. For many of us, our brains are partially wired to associate sunset with getting ready for bed!

General mindfulness can also be very helpful. The self-awareness and insight that comes from practicing mindfulness can help us stay ahead of these kinds of feelings. Often we can stop a cycle from progressing further if we notice it in the beginning stages. Mindfulness can help with that!

Of course enjoy all those holiday specialities you love. There’s no reason not to eat your favorite dessert but also make sure to keep eating balanced, nutritious meals. When we feel better physically, it can help boost how we feel mentally, too!

Get out and enjoy some vitamin D! We get it from the sun and while there’s less of it available in the winter, we can still get it by having short periods of time outside. Don’t just take a supplement without doctor’s guidance, though. Not everyone needs to supplement vitamin D!

What about for SAD?

For seasonal depression, all of those tips above are great. They may be difficult to keep up with, as major depressive disorder can be pretty disruptive to people’s lives sometimes, but it’s important to try. Something that could help is to also coordinate with your care team to start an antidepressant (or increase the dose) temporarily a few weeks before your symptoms usually begin. With SAD, it can help to have that little bit of extra help, chemically, to get through the worst of the symptoms. This has been found to be a pretty effective treatment for SAD. Towards the end of when your usual symptoms are present, you can discontinue the medication or go back down to your normal dose (again, all with your care team’s guidance). 

Something else that can help is therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most well known forms of therapy these days. Most importantly, there is a form of it that has been specially designed for seasonal depression. CBT-SAD has been shown to be an effective treatment for SAD, both winter and summer, and can make a big difference for how people experience these seasons. 

What else should we know?

We know a lot more about how the winter tends to affect people than the summer. And to an extent, it is socially normal and expected that winter will bring with it some form of feeling down. However, if you’re struggling with keeping up with your daily routines and you feel you need help, reach out to a doctor or a therapist. Even if you just need to talk to someone during the winter, it can really help. 

Winter can be dark and dreary, but we don’t have to feel that way all the time ourselves. 

Resources:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20364651

https://mentalhealthcommission.ca/blog-posts/34590-seven-ways-to-cope-with-the-winter-blues

https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2013/01/beat-winter-blues

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/seasonal-affective-disorder

https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/mental-health/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-beat-the-winter-blues-5087998

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Why Practice Self-Compassion?

How often do you beat yourself up mentally over mistakes, big or small? If you’re like most people, the answer is “at least sometimes”. For some people, it’s more often. And for others, it’s all the time. The problem with this type of approach to things is that it often doesn’t do much other than make us feel worse. Self-compassion, however, can be a good alternative to this reaction to mistakes, failings, or bad things that sometimes just happen to us. 

What is Self-Compassion?

In the most simple of terms, self-compassion is kindness and understanding that you extend to yourself. The type of comfort you would give to a friend, even in the face of a serious mistake, would be the same comfort you would give to yourself through self-compassion. It’s care that you give to yourself in moments of pain or suffering, or even fear through acceptance of the situation as it is. 

According to Dr. Kristen Neff, an expert on self-compassion, self-compassion is made up of three main components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. 

Self-kindness involves supporting ourselves with warmth and comfort through difficult moments we may otherwise be self-critical during. We approach ourselves with a helpful mindframe instead of a cold one. This sometimes is the most difficult part of self-compassion because many of us are actively taught to be very critical of our mistakes.

Common humanity is the understanding that we are not alone and that many people in the world throughout time have dealt with these situations and feelings. Often, when something bad happens to us, we can feel as if we’re the only ones who could have such poor luck. Or that maybe no one could possibly understand how badly we feel about something. Recognizing that others suffer, too, can help us put things into perspective. This is not the same as minimizing or invalidating our feelings by saying “well, other people have it worse so I should suck it up”. It’s saying to ourselves, “other people have dealt with this, too, and I’m not alone in these feelings”.

Mindfulness encourages us to pause and look at the situation through a different perspective. It involves approaching things with acceptance and turning our pain into something more productive through this acceptance. It makes us stop and think about things without attaching moral judgements on them. 

What is it NOT?

Self-compassion is not the same as being indulgent, flippant, or selfish. It does not involve just shrugging off mistakes and the harm they could be causing to ourselves and others. Self-compassion doesn’t mean refusing to feel badly about something or refusing to take accountability for it. There is a misconception that being kind to ourselves in moments of difficulty, even if we are the cause of the difficulty, will lead us to being lax and not working to fix things. 

People often assume that being hard on ourselves and being super critical is how we push for change. However, that’s counterintuitive. Shame is very rarely an effective motivator for people and often has the opposite effect. We don’t want to handle issues that we’re ashamed of and we want to avoid those feelings as much as possible. Being self-critical can also make us feel much worse than the initial event did. This can make us disheartened and also cause us to lack motivation entirely. 

Self-compassion, however, encourages us to take responsibility, accept that the situation is what it is, and understand that we are not failures or bad people just because we made a mistake or something bad happened. It asks that we speak to ourselves gently, like we would with a friend. 

What would you say to a loved one? Often, the things we say to ourselves are things we would never say to our friends, partners, children, or anyone else we care about. So why do we think it’s okay to say them in our heads? Self-compassion encourages us to use the same approach to ourselves that we would with a loved one, even when they mess up. 

How do we Practice Self-Compassion?

Accept that you make mistakes! This can be really difficult to do, but it’s the first step to really practicing self-compassion. It also makes it easier to talk to yourself in a more gentle, kind way. 

Work on self-awareness of inner dialogues. A lot of the time, our responses and internal dialogue are based on deeply ingrained beliefs taught us to us by society, friends, and family. Becoming aware of what our self-talk really looks like is an important aspect of turning it into something kinder. 

Work on mindfulness! It’s a big part of the process because so often, we just rush from moment to moment and thought to thought. We have a hard time living in the right now, especially if right now is hard or painful. Sitting with those feelings, however, is important. It’s also important to understand that these feelings are temporary. 

Want to know more? Check out Dr. Kristen Neff’s guided practices on self-compassion! Her work into self-compassion has really broadened our understanding of it and her website is full of great resources for those looking to know more or get a starting point.

It can be hard to get started on this sort of thing on your own. If you feel your negative self-talk is having a detrimental effect on your life and you’d like to work on it, consider reaching out to a therapist. Often, they can help with gaining insight and practicing mindfulness that can help turn self-criticism into self-compassion. 

Resources

https://www.mindful.org/the-transformative-effects-of-mindful-self-compassion

https://positivepsychology.com/how-to-practice-self-compassion

https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-practices/#guided-practices

Be Kind To Your Mind: Practicing Self-Compassion
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How Can We Sleep Better? Try Working on Sleep Hygiene

We spent the previous two posts discussing sleep disorders. However, what about those who need a bit more help getting better sleep but don’t have a diagnosed sleep disorder? Something that can help is practicing good sleep hygiene. 

What is Sleep Hygiene?

Sleep hygiene is essentially a set of behaviors that someone does to try and promote good sleep. For example, this could be something like having a set routine every night at the same time as a way of triggering your brain to know that it’s time to start winding down for sleep. It can also be how you use your room and the temperature you set it to. Not only this, but sleep hygiene can involve daytime habits as well that can pay off later on for better sleep overall. 

The reason practicing good sleep hygiene is so important is because it can help you really get into the habit of taking care of and prioritizing your sleep. Many of us just don’t get enough sleep and often the sleep we do get isn’t the greatest quality. Lack of sleep can contribute to anxiety, depression, irritability, and can even make some tasks, like driving, more dangerous. Thinking about your sleep routine and other habits can help you pinpoint where things may be going wrong and getting in the way of the best sleep you could be having.

Sleep Hygiene Tips:

Some Sleep Hygiene Tips

  • Avoid using your room, especially your bed, for things other than sex
  • Exercise regularly, but not right before bed
  • Have a regular sleep cycle. Go to bed around the same time and wake up around the same time every day, even on weekends
  • Don’t eat large meals before bed. Small snacks can help keep you from getting hungry during the night
  • No caffeine, nicotine, or alcohol about 4-6 hours before bed
  • Try to taper off your drinks before bed. This can help avoid you getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.
  • If you can’t fall asleep within 20 minutes, go to another room and do something relaxing until you feel drowsy again. Then try going back to sleep
  • Start winding down about an hour before expected bedtime. This includes not using bright lights or electronics
  • If your phone is too tempting, try keeping it in another room or at least not within easy reach of your bed
    • Consider turning off notifications or keeping your phone screen down so it doesn’t wake you in the night
  • Keep your room a comfortable temperature, whatever that means for you
  • Try some relaxation techniques, like meditation, in order to help you calm down

Of course, as we know, there are things out of our control that can interfere with good sleep. Sleep disorders can make it difficult to sleep regardless of your sleep routines and at that point you would need the help of a sleep professional (like a doctor who specializes in sleep disorders) or a therapist, depending on what exactly is keeping you from being able to sleep well. Therapy can also help if you’re finding you’re having a hard time in implementing routine changes. 

Hopefully this post can help you on the road to getting more, and better, sleep!

Resources:

https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/~/media/CCI/Mental-Health-Professionals/Sleep/Sleep—Information-Sheets/Sleep-Information-Sheet—04—Sleep-Hygiene.pdf

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/sleep-hygiene

https://www.headspace.com/sleep/sleep-hygiene

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK279320

https://sleepeducation.org/healthy-sleep/healthy-sleep-habits

https://www.ucsfhealth.org/education/improve-your-sleep-hygiene

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