Supporting the Mental Health of Children and Teens in Foster Care

According to the Administration for Children and Families, at the end of 2022 there were 368,500 children in foster care. While this is a decrease from previous years, that is still many children and teens who are facing unique struggles. One big concern for this population is the potential impact on their mental health. However, there are things that can be done to help support the mental health of children and teens who are in this population.  

What is Foster Care?

Foster care is a system that many countries utilize to care for children who have been removed from their families of origin. In many cases, children are removed due to what is usually considered a temporary situation. For example, the caregiving parent is in prison or has a substance use disorder. Once the home is deemed safe again for the child(ren), they ideally would be going back to their parents’ care. 

Children are placed with families who are to act as a temporary family for the child. The adult(s) are meant to give as much care and love to these children as they would their own and to help the children retain as much of their normal routines as possible. 

What are the Struggles of Foster Care for Children?

Being removed from their homes can be a very difficult experience for children. There is a level of grief that comes along with this process. This could be compounded if they are separated from their siblings because of foster care placements. While the goal is to attempt to keep them together, this is not always possible and the children need to go to separate homes. Sometimes, only one child will be removed from the home while others stay. 

They may also have been experiencing neglect or abuse in their family of origin. If they witnessed violence at home or witnessed substance abuse, this is another factor that could affect their mental health. Another compounding factor is that sometimes children are moved from foster placement to foster placement. This makes it difficult for them to be able to create meaningful bonds with other people, especially caring adults. 

What Can be Done?

Having mental health care available to this population is incredibly important. Access to therapy or some kind of therapeutic mentorship can help support their mental health as much as possible. It can also help to identify potential mental health disorders before they become more problematic for the child. 

It’s also important to try and make sure that the child has at least one consistent adult in their life. For example, a therapeutic mentor or being able to stay in the same foster home for as long as possible. Having one stable, caring adult can be incredibly important for children, but especially those in foster care. 

Children in foster care can thrive if given the right resources. Keeping in mind the needs of these children and making efforts to support their mental health can make all the difference in their lives.

Resources:

https://www.aap.org/en/patient-care/foster-care/mental-and-behavioral-health-needs-of-children-in-foster-care

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2023/03/hope-for-foster-kids

https://share.upmc.com/2023/12/mental-health-needs-of-children-in-foster-care

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-mental-health-effects-of-living-in-foster-care-5216614

Grounding Techniques For When Things Get Hard

Last week, we discussed how the upcoming holidays can be a source of stress for many people. They can also contribute to anxiety for many people, as well. This time of year also comes with finals (if you’re still in school) or large projects at our jobs. All of these things can contribute to climbing anxiety, which can sometimes be difficult to cope with. We wanted to share some information about grounding techniques this week to help provide a way to stay on top of things before anxiety reaches its peak for many.

What are Grounding Techniques?

Grounding techniques are exercises we perform in order to bring ourselves back to the present when worry or anxiety takes over. They can help center us and relieve some of that anxiety and bring it back down to more manageable levels. Some anxiety can be good for us, as it plays a part in motivation. However, when we’re consumed by anxiety or worry, it becomes detrimental to our ability to function. 

The ability to practice some kind of mindfulness in those moments in order to bring us back to the present and outside of our worries is an important coping technique. We need to be able to recenter and let some of that anxiety pass. There are a variety of grounding techniques we can use to do this, with some being more active than others. 

What are Some Techniques I Can Use?

A very simple grounding technique involves just closing your eyes, putting your hands flat on a surface (like a desk or table) and putting your feet flat on the ground. If you’re sitting in a chair while doing this, press your back into the chair, too. Then just take a few deep, centering breaths. This can be as many as you need in order to feel calm enough again to continue with what you need to be doing. 

Another technique that is common and simple is the 5-4-3-2-1 method. This is where you center yourself in this anxious moment by counting five things you’re able to see, four things you’re able to feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This technique can take mere seconds to perform and can help really bring you back to the present and lessen intense anxiety. 

You can also hold something and really focus on the feeling of it. Is it cold? Smooth? What is it made of? Is it heavy? By focusing on this one item, it can help calm your system by forcing yourself to slow down and stop thinking about the worrying thoughts. 

In our resources listed below there are also many other examples of effective and easy grounding techniques you can use whenever anxiety creeps up.

What if Grounding Techniques Aren’t Enough?

If you find your anxiety or worry is not responding to grounding techniques or if it’s happening very often, you may need more help. Consider talking to someone you trust about your worries. Some people need to reach out to a counselor for therapy revolving anxiety and some people may need medication to help control their anxiety.

Some anxiety is perfectly normal, but if you’re always feeling on edge and anxious, it may be a sign you need to reach out and get more specialized care than what you can do at home. 

Resources:

https://drsarahallen.com/7-ways-to-calm/

https://www.goodrx.com/health-topic/mental-health/grounding-techniques-anxiety-coping

https://healthline.com/health/grounding-techniques

https://www.innermelbpsychology.com.au/grounding-exercises

https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/techniques/finding-relief-through-grounding-techniques

The Holidays, Mental Health, and You

Holidays. They can be tricky for a lot of people. Most people love the holidays to some extent. Other people can’t stand them. However, the majority of people can agree that this period of time is one of the most stressful parts of the year, regardless of what or how you celebrate. Mental health can be affected in so many ways by this season, some of those ways are good and others are bad. 

Holidays: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

There’s lots to love about the holidays. Getting extra time to spend with people you care about, seeing how the neighborhoods get transformed by decorations, and many people look forward to special meals or foods that are only made at this time. Sometimes we get breaks from responsibilities, like from school or work. 

But it can be difficult, too. For some people, the holidays mean having to spend time with people they’re uncomfortable around. Or maybe they have no one to spend the holidays with. It can be a reminder of what people no longer have or what they fear they may never have. The extra demands on peoples’ time can also be stressful and difficult to work around. Maybe some family members overstep boundaries, maybe you struggle with substance use disorder or an eating disorder which makes these holidays difficult. Maybe you’re tired of hearing questions about when you’re going to get married, or buy a house, or have a baby. 

It can also be difficult financially for people. This is a time of year when we are fed a lot of consumerist advertising, even more so than usual. It pushes the idea that we are not doing enough, showing enough love or care, not living up to expectations, whatever it may be if we don’t spend money. Money on gifts, beautiful decor, lavish meals. Or maybe money on plane tickets to go see distant family, even if we can’t afford it. 

All of these things can cause stress! Even the good things can. We may be worried about everyone enjoying what we’ve made. Or maybe we worry about making everyone comfortable. But worry can lead to stress, especially if there is a LOT of worry going on. 

You don’t need to have a mental health disorder to feel the extra strain that this time of year can put on people. But it does tend to exacerbate many mental health symptoms. This is a time of year that can increase depression, anxiety, or any other number of conditions. 

Taking Care of Yourself 

Your mental health should be a priority all year long, but especially right now. This is the time to examine your boundaries and make sure you’re setting healthy ones and enforcing them. Stick to your routines that you already know work. Exercise? Keep it up! Enjoy the delicious foods on offer, but don’t eat more than you’re used to. Not only can it come with feelings of guilt and shame, it can also just physically make you feel unwell. That can make you feel even more mentally unwell. 

If you take medication, continue it as prescribed. Discuss with your care team if you feel you need a little extra help in this department at this time of year. 

Remember that you don’t have to say yes to anything and everything. You don’t even have to say yes to going somewhere for the holidays. While isolating yourself can contribute to feelings of loneliness and depression, going to a home where you’re uncomfortable, judged, or may not even be safe is also not mentally healthy. Make alternate plans, if possible, to avoid spending the holidays alone, but remember that however you choose to spend them, you don’t have to feel guilty about not going home if it’s not a good place for you. 

You also don’t have to answer questions if they make you sad, uncomfortable, or angry. You can insist that it’s not something you want to talk about (“I don’t want to talk about this topic” or “Please respect that this isn’t something I want to discuss”). If someone cannot respect that, you have every right to walk away from the situation. 

The holidays can be a great time for many people, but if you just feel like you need to survive it, that’s okay. Care for yourself and give yourself the grace you deserve if this is a hard time of year. If you need to, talk to someone you trust. This can be a family member, a friend, or even a therapist. But remember that you deserve to prioritize your mental health at this time of year.

Resources

https://afsp.org/story/from-thanksgiving-to-new-year-s-protecting-your-mental-health-during-the-holidays

https://gwtoday.gwu.edu/protecting-your-mental-health-over-thanksgiving-and-winter-break

Protecting Your Mental Health During Thanksgiving

https://www.nami.org/complimentary-health-approaches/managing-your-mental-health-during-the-holidays/

https://www.nextstep.doctor/5-tips-for-safeguarding-your-mental-health-this-thanksgiving/

https://trustmentalhealth.com/blog/protecting-your-mental-health-on-thanksgiving

The Mental Health Benefits of Friends

Friendship. It’s a common thing people have, want, and work to maintain. However, we don’t often talk about the ways friendship can benefit us. And we don’t mean in an exploitative sense! We mean the mental health benefits. There are many ways friends can benefit our mental health and this post is meant to help pin down some of the mental health benefits of friends. 

Why do Friendships Matter?

Maybe this is an obvious one and maybe it isn’t. But it’s difficult to really pinpoint why people want friends. According to the science, though, friendships benefit us in a lot of different ways. Not only are there physical benefits to having friends, there are also the mental health benefits of friends that we have to think about, too. 

Friends provide us an outlet for the things we need to talk about. This can help us with processing and coping with stress, grief, anger, and any other negative emotion. They give us that support and the lack of judgement we need in order to be open with our own feelings. This helps in so many ways because we know that bottling up feelings can have many negative consequences, including health ones!

Friends also give us a way of not feeling isolated or lonely. Isolation is a big factor in a lot of mental health conditions and one of the best ways to help alleviate some of the symptoms of these is to reduce feelings of isolation. Good friends will want to spend time with you regardless of how you’re feeling. This can help foster feelings of belonging and give us meaning, another great mental health benefit of friends. 

Not only all this, but friends can just help make us happier. When we’re happier, we also tend to be more self-confident and are more likely to take care of ourselves. Often, they can be good role models for us, encouraging us to try new and better things. 

Are all Friendships Good Friendships?

Unfortunately, no. Sometimes our friends can be harmful. They may have destructive habits that encourage our own (like heavy drinking, for example). Or maybe they make you feel small, unappreciated, or just bad. Some friends take advantage of us, talk down to us, or just overall are not good friends. They may not be willing to support you when you need them. They may only want to be around when you’re feeling your best. 

In these cases, it’s best to sit back and consider if the friendship is worth continuing. Maybe if they’re just a good time friend, you can keep them as an acquaintance you see sometimes to go to the movies with or some other fun activity. But if they’re the kind of friend that leaves you not feeling good about yourself, it may be best to cut ties. There are so many mental health benefits of friends but those are for GOOD friends (and by good, we mean good for you!) not all friends in general. 

But How do I Make Friends?

This definitely gets harder as we get older and are no longer in school. It’s easier to make friends when you’re around people all the time who are likely to have some of the same interests. This is especially true in college when it comes to career goals or intellectual interests. However, as we enter the workforce and become exposed to many more kinds of people, it’s harder and harder to make friends.

If your work isn’t remote, think about your co-workers. If there’s anyone you’ve noticed you get along with more than others, it may be worthwhile to try and get to know them better and maybe even spend some time together outside of work. If your work is remote, this may be a little harder. 

For those who work remotely or who don’t really click with any of their co-workers, it’s a good idea to look into local classes at the library or similar learning events. Always wanted to learn how to bake? Take a class! You may be able to make a friend there. You can also make friends at other places you enjoy, like the gym, yoga, or anywhere you spend a lot of recreational time. 

How do I Maintain Friendships?

Reach out! Don’t always be the one that they have to contact. You don’t have to talk to someone everyday in order to maintain closeness, but it’s important to show that you’re making an effort to stay in their circle. That they mean something to you. Even if all you do is send them a message with something that reminded you of them, it could be the beginning of a new conversation and more closeness.

Try to do things face-to-face if possible. This may be hard if your friends have scattered all around following careers. Thanks to technology, we have video chats, lots of ways to send messages, and other ways of keeping in touch. But this may not always help to keep the closeness of friendship maintained. If you’re able to see someone in person, try to! It’s a great way to keep close friends close. 

Limitations

Friendship has a lot of benefits and friends can do a lot of good. While there are certainly many mental health benefits of friends, they can’t solve everything for us. And they shouldn’t. It’s important to understand that we can’t solely rely on our friends for everything, especially putting everything all on one or two specific friends. Sometimes, our problems may be too big for our friends. 

That’s when therapy can be helpful! If you find that you’re still struggling, even with having a great supportive social network, then consider reaching out for some counseling. 

Resources:

https://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/social-support.aspx

https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-friendship#making-friends

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-importance-of-friendship-3024371

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/psychological-benefits-of-friendship