Friendship. It’s a common thing people have, want, and work to maintain. However, we don’t often talk about the ways friendship can benefit us. And we don’t mean in an exploitative sense! We mean the mental health benefits. There are many ways friends can benefit our mental health and this post is meant to help pin down some of the mental health benefits of friends.
Why do Friendships Matter?
Maybe this is an obvious one and maybe it isn’t. But it’s difficult to really pinpoint why people want friends. According to the science, though, friendships benefit us in a lot of different ways. Not only are there physical benefits to having friends, there are also the mental health benefits of friends that we have to think about, too.
Friends provide us an outlet for the things we need to talk about. This can help us with processing and coping with stress, grief, anger, and any other negative emotion. They give us that support and the lack of judgement we need in order to be open with our own feelings. This helps in so many ways because we know that bottling up feelings can have many negative consequences, including health ones!
Friends also give us a way of not feeling isolated or lonely. Isolation is a big factor in a lot of mental health conditions and one of the best ways to help alleviate some of the symptoms of these is to reduce feelings of isolation. Good friends will want to spend time with you regardless of how you’re feeling. This can help foster feelings of belonging and give us meaning, another great mental health benefit of friends.
Not only all this, but friends can just help make us happier. When we’re happier, we also tend to be more self-confident and are more likely to take care of ourselves. Often, they can be good role models for us, encouraging us to try new and better things.
Are all Friendships Good Friendships?
Unfortunately, no. Sometimes our friends can be harmful. They may have destructive habits that encourage our own (like heavy drinking, for example). Or maybe they make you feel small, unappreciated, or just bad. Some friends take advantage of us, talk down to us, or just overall are not good friends. They may not be willing to support you when you need them. They may only want to be around when you’re feeling your best.
In these cases, it’s best to sit back and consider if the friendship is worth continuing. Maybe if they’re just a good time friend, you can keep them as an acquaintance you see sometimes to go to the movies with or some other fun activity. But if they’re the kind of friend that leaves you not feeling good about yourself, it may be best to cut ties. There are so many mental health benefits of friends but those are for GOOD friends (and by good, we mean good for you!) not all friends in general.
But How do I Make Friends?
This definitely gets harder as we get older and are no longer in school. It’s easier to make friends when you’re around people all the time who are likely to have some of the same interests. This is especially true in college when it comes to career goals or intellectual interests. However, as we enter the workforce and become exposed to many more kinds of people, it’s harder and harder to make friends.
If your work isn’t remote, think about your co-workers. If there’s anyone you’ve noticed you get along with more than others, it may be worthwhile to try and get to know them better and maybe even spend some time together outside of work. If your work is remote, this may be a little harder.
For those who work remotely or who don’t really click with any of their co-workers, it’s a good idea to look into local classes at the library or similar learning events. Always wanted to learn how to bake? Take a class! You may be able to make a friend there. You can also make friends at other places you enjoy, like the gym, yoga, or anywhere you spend a lot of recreational time.
How do I Maintain Friendships?
Reach out! Don’t always be the one that they have to contact. You don’t have to talk to someone everyday in order to maintain closeness, but it’s important to show that you’re making an effort to stay in their circle. That they mean something to you. Even if all you do is send them a message with something that reminded you of them, it could be the beginning of a new conversation and more closeness.
Try to do things face-to-face if possible. This may be hard if your friends have scattered all around following careers. Thanks to technology, we have video chats, lots of ways to send messages, and other ways of keeping in touch. But this may not always help to keep the closeness of friendship maintained. If you’re able to see someone in person, try to! It’s a great way to keep close friends close.
Limitations
Friendship has a lot of benefits and friends can do a lot of good. While there are certainly many mental health benefits of friends, they can’t solve everything for us. And they shouldn’t. It’s important to understand that we can’t solely rely on our friends for everything, especially putting everything all on one or two specific friends. Sometimes, our problems may be too big for our friends.
That’s when therapy can be helpful! If you find that you’re still struggling, even with having a great supportive social network, then consider reaching out for some counseling.
Resources:
https://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/social-support.aspx
https://www.healthline.com/health/benefits-of-friendship#making-friends
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860
https://www.verywellmind.com/the-importance-of-friendship-3024371
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/psychological-benefits-of-friendship